“A graduation ceremony is an event where the speaker tells hundreds of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success…”

 Apologies for another week’s silence – I was off getting my oversized novelty degree – now officially (because I fuss over the gender-specifics of it all) Mistress of Information Management! Oh, and sleeping through the presentation of 19 PhD’s one after the other… when I get MY PhD nobody will EVER be reading my abstract out on stage, I would rather die… anyways, here’s some links to get you through the official most boring week in the Australian higher education sector EVER – mid-semester break in semester 2…

1) Especially for all those povvo students with free time up their sleeves this week, we present in full glorious colour the Top 5 Ways to Hustle a Free Drink. A word of warning, I would not try most of these out on people who are not your friends, or who are bigger and hit harder than you. (Unless you’re a very attractive woman, apparently…)

2) What do gay penguins, Harry Potter and Tom Sawyer have in common? (Apart from showing up in a great deal of fanfic together, that is…) Well, at some time or other, their respective books have all been banned by schools, communities or governments due to “Unsuitable Content”. Get a bit naughty and find out more about which books have been banned, and why at the ALA’s Banned Books Week site. How going-to-hell are you? (And will I be seeing you down there?)

3) Finally, just cos we haven’t had any sickeningly cute kitties in a while, here’s a die-of-cuteness pair for you… cats rule!!

Oh golly, gee, am I the Roster girl? (Apologies to the Dresden Dolls!!)

I do the rosters at my workplace, and today I’ve been trying to split 100 hours fairly between 10 people who’ll only be there, on average, 60% of the time. This week I’ve only given myself 2 double shifts to cope with this, which sadly means it’s going pretty well so far. Can now seriously see the wisdom behind the “Bex, cup of tea and a lie-down” approach to task management… instead I’ll share what I found in the three short seconds I had to do anything for myself this week.

1) Who would do this to their child?(Aside from Steve Jobs, or perhaps Nicole Richie) iPod my baby, anyone? Honestly – I have no kids, is this normal behaviour? Someone I know suggested the click-wheel settings instead of play, pause, rewind and forward would be set to cry, vomit, poop and break stuff. But then they’d have to make them in Undergraduate size too, especially for student nights at the uni bar…

2) Having a seizure? Masturbating in public? Neither – these guys are the international competitors in the Air Guitar World Championships, and the International Herald Tribune this week wows you with their stuff. Proving once and for all, that “performance-enhancing” only applies to certain TYPES of drugs, kiddies…

3) Finally, Youtube and Sesame Street combine with deadly force to show us why you REALLY can’t eat in the library. (At least, not cookies…)

“The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there…”

My exiled-to-the-country Dad totalled his car this week. Completely wrote it off. Refused to go to the doctors to get checked out even having flipped his car. So now he’s stuck in his tiny little death-toll town with no way out, covered in bruises, rapidly depleting groceries and (as of today) no internet.

Question: is it wrong to feel HEAPS better about my day now??

Anyway, this week for you all (with the exception of Dad, who I’m pretty sure would rather die than visit this blog anyway)
1) Graphic artists have FAAAAR too much time on their hands. Here they experiment with photoshop and hallucinogenic drugs to explore “When cloning goes wrong”…
2) Want to read about losers addicted to Second Life? Course you do! Now riddle me this: would this story have been better or worse if SL Wife had been a guy? Or if they’d been playing WOW? Or *shudders* BOTH??

3) Finally this week, John Cleese and Graham Chapman show you “How to Irritate People – on an airplane”. True comic genius will never die… although it’s sad to think that nobody would ever DARE do that these days…

Peace out!